That Night

It started with a feeling, just an inkling. You felt it and you reached out for me. I saw it in your eyes and I knew it was here. Then it hit me, I felt it.
I held you close protecting you, rocking you to sleep, hiding you from it. I felt it searching for a way to you, a path, a hole, a gap in my protection. It wanted to get to you. It had to go through me.
All my defences, all my energy was directed at you. You were invisible to it, I was all too vulnerable.
For the first time, it infiltrated me.
I covered you, who was now gently snoring, at peace because you knew I was there. I, satisfied that you were safe, now turned and walked away to battle that which was within me. A battle I had put off for 14 years.
It was time.
So it began. I surrounded myself with my weapons, all the positivity I had in the world, my friends, my strengths. I faced it.
It rushed, I stopped.
It twisted, I undid.
I can do this.
It screamed, I was silent.
It attacked, I defended.
I need to do this.
It pushed, I pulled.
It stretched, I compressed.
I was stronger than this. I will always be stronger than this.
It won, I lost.
It lost, I won.
Conviction.
It faded away, it gave up.
I was a rock. A mountain.
You were still asleep, unaware that I was fighting my battle and yours. Unaware that you were the only reason I was strong.
I changed that night. I no longer fear.
I will protect. I will fight.
For you, I will.

Note: Take it as you will.