Random Pain

11th of november 07:

I wish we were normal.
I wish that night had never happened.
I wish we didnt bruise so easily.
I wish we didn hold this kind of power over the ones we love
But it did happen and we are a mess.
bruised battered and brocken are we.

sheepishly we glance at eachother, aware of the gaping hole.
aware of the suffering pain yet pretending not to be.
the hurt and the agony in my eyes,
a reflection of that in his.

Forgiven n forgotten he n i said it was.
A lie each found easier to tell than to face.
What one had done to the other in a careless thought.
a thoughtless whisper, a whispering silence.

Each is the others emotional doom.
as the gap widens and lengthens,
the will to keep at it fades.
Does the love fade? No, it burns red hot.
but the sun of regret is out and the fire dwindles.

with no will and a dwindling fire emptyness is created.
More pain. More hurt. fueled desire to break.
All caused one random night.
in a thoughtless whisper, in a whispering silence.
Unplanned.
A simple prelude to the end.

A Fire Inside

[written on the 15th of December While out on a trip]

Sitting by the fire, an onslaught of memories. It flickers and sways like my train of thought. Pausing for a moment, steady, while I dwell over a preserved moment.
A fire that appeared yellow turns into a vivid rainbow. A mixture of yellow and orange, tapering at the top to clear, forming a mirage of images over the brown logs aytop of which appears blue bordering to indigo turning black at the heart where the coals burned an angry turbulent red.
Thought upon thought is thought with emotion. A happy smile, a shy feeling, a twist of hatred, a gripping fear, a resentful twitch, a content sigh of satisfaction.
I remember a whispered word, relive a silent moment. I stare into the heart of the fire with all the fire in my heart! Glorius moments of my past, my histoy.
Sitting by the fire, an onslaught of memories.