Yesterday, we were sitting around watching old baby videos of yours truly, when the best description yet of my childish escapades were voiced by an extremely articulate cousin of mine who has been recently launched in to the mysterious yet wholly satisfying world of motherhood. She turned to me after watching me take halting steps to wards a very well advertised glass of yellow gunk and informed me that i looked like a "Drunken Midget." No exaggeration.
So we were sitting around, discussing my various attributes, when I (the awesome philosopher that I am) realised that this moment is never gonna come back. Time just flies by. Mind, I'm only 15, imagine how parents or even grandparents might feel. Gone are the days of my innocent childhood, gone are the times I could run around free of burdens, free of promises, of pressure, of politics and dynamics. Free from others thoughts dictating MY actions. I must be more calm now, more composed. I shudder as I imagine my life 2 years from now, A child no more, barely an adult, a teenager lost in 'the big bad world'. I dread the confusion that will descend upon me like a dark cloud, the indecision. Yet I am hopeful, for I will learn new things and to learn is but the purpose of man.
I feel that I am in awkward stage now, the time where I am shaped, moulded, battered, whacked and melted, emotionally as well as physically, into the woman I am to become some day. A woman to be proud of, one to look up to and idolize. one who makes a difference. But then again, aspirations of an immature mind. Or not. At times I am forced to believe that I can, I will and I shall. A motto we should all adopt, for ambition is a great thing and can get you far in this world of posers and weak minded noodles(or brutally murdered by your closest comrade as with Julius Caesar. But that's a risk I am willing to take.)
As these subtle yet prodding thoughts flash across my mind, I find myself reaching for the camera. This moment may never come back, but technology can assure that my memory of it may never fade.
I aim..."smile"...*click*.
Aah...I feel a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction...memory preserved.
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2 comments:
and this is my favourite =)
wo .. this 1 is good ... i read it ! ... its ... very ... philosophicalshly psychological... i think .. i mean ... its ...u stuck between 2 worlds :O
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